Dreaming: It's not just for kids

Imagine. Imagine that the dreams you have of your perfect life are actually possible. I mean the dreams that you don’t share. The ones that seem impossible, beyond your reach, or that others would say are irresponsible. Maybe they are new dreams, or maybe they’re ones you’ve pushed away for so long that you’ve mostly forgotten what they are. Maybe you’ve given up on them because you’ve gotten older. Maybe they’re just images that don’t go away.

The image I carried with me, or that carried me along, were of palm trees swaying against a vivid blue sky. Those trees spoke to me, they whispered for me to follow them, like clues on a treasure map. They were promises of relief from the pain and discomfort of living a life that didn’t fit. They were the peripheral vision, the carrot on the stick, the promise of an adventure if I were brave enough to believe in them, and in myself. For me, there was no question. It was do, or die.

What does your heart dream of? I’ve asked hundreds of clients and audiences this question. What I’ve discovered is that most people have forgotten how to dream BIG. Most commonly, the answer is one rung above where they find themselves. An unemployed single mom wants to be an administrative assistant. An abused teen wants to paint houses with a friend’s dad. That’s not dreaming. That’s settling for what you think you barely deserve. 

Don’t get me wrong. Painting houses, or being part of an office, those CAN be dreams, if they truly are dreams! The question is, are they your dreams, or are they simply as far as you can allow yourself to imagine? Who in your life told you one too many times to be realistic, to stop daydreaming, to settle down?

If you could be anything what would you be? The first time I was asked this question I said I wanted to be President of the United States. The other people in the room protested, “Can she do that?” The trainer’s response: “of course she can, so can you.” That set off a chain of responses like a brick of firecrackers on a fuse and there were shouts from around the room of, “I want to be a pilot”, “I want to be a stay at home mom with lots of kids”, “I want to be a bear…”! 

Nothing is impossible. Even being a bear. Think about that. Argue if you must. It’s not the point. It’s not for you or me to decide. It’s not our dream. Nor are we in a position to say it isn’t possible. Who are we to tell anyone something’s impossible? Who are we to have the audacity to say such a thing to ourselves? The word impossible is a self-imposed hurdle, an obstacle of our own choosing.

Are you living into your dreams? Or are your true dreams a secret because you’ve been told they aren’t possible? Is the risk too high? How high? Says who? 

Great success means the risk of great failures. We’d like to think that by avoiding the desire to be our greatest selves, we’re also avoiding the risk of experiencing great pain. That’s one of our greatest myths. Pain happens. No matter what, it happens. So the question is: Are you willing to risk the pain you are already living, for the possibility of experiencing the joy you've so far only imagined?